It's About Time
Mood:  sad

After all that I've done for you and this relationship...

All you can see is my FLAWS?!

All you can say is I treated you like SHIT?!

Look who's talking.

Well you know what boy. I'm glad it all happen now before it gets too late.

Thank you. For making me realise this sooner. We were never meant to be together.

Irk-ed
Mood:  irritated

If you think you know it all...

If you think you know what's best for it all...

If you think other's opinion does not stand for it all...

If you think what you say is right...

Then...

Why the fucking hell did you even bother asking for other's opinion when what we say does not matter?!

Stupid bitch!

Drenched in Words Unspoken
Mood:  crushed out
Now Playing: Takdir Cinta - Rossa
Andaikan ku bisa
Lebih adil pada cinta kau dan dia
Aku bukan nabi yang bisa sempurna
Ku tak luput dari dosa

Biarkan ku hidup seperti ini
Takdir cinta harus begini
Ada kau dan dia bukan ku yang mahu
Oh Tuhan tuntunlah hatiku 

I don’t know where or how to begin with. This was all a huge mistake. This shouldn’t be happening. This is heart wrenching.

After 7 years, you finally confessed. How you felt for me. How stupid you were for not telling me before. How guilty you are for making me wait for 7 years long. How you regret not noticing the littlest details I tried to hint you. How you blamed yourself for not having the courage to tell me those words. And most of all, how sorry you were for rushing yourself into a relationship with another girl you never love.

So we finally opened up. You’ve always loved me but were never brave enough to let me know how you feel. You assumed I knew everything. You thought just because your parents like me, it might turn out to be something fruitful eventually. You got me thinking for 7 bloody years if you ever loved me as much as I’ve always loved you. I must admit in that 7 years, I wasn’t being honest in waiting for you. I was dating many other guys but what you didn’t even realize; those guys I was dating were all temporary existence.

You don’t know how it feels like to wait for someone for years. Then when she finally gave up on waiting, met someone else and was about to move on, he came back. She discovered something she didn’t expect. Upon hearing it, she became fuming mad to know how easy it was for him to let the other girl into his life when she had to wait till forever.

I gave up on waiting, finally after the long wait. I met someone. He has been there for me all the while. He made me realize I can still love another. He knew about you and I. He was aware how our parents hoped that both you and I will be together one day. He knew how much our parents got along well with one another. He even knows the strong bond I have with your mom and family. But he was determined to work on it. He did everything that was possible to win my heart. And he succeeded. He captured my heart and I dare say I am very much in love with him.

I may have feelings for you but it’s never the same as 7 years ago when I was so crazy about you. To say I still love you is just not fair. We both are with someone else now. Love is too strong of a word to express how we feel for each other. No doubt, I still care for you but its nothing more than caring for a friend.

I hope with this, you could understand why I’m being cold towards you. Why I had to turn you down each time you ask me out for dinner or for movie. This is tough but we both have got to learn to let go.

Island Nation
Mood:  lucky
Oh God. I’m starting to think why the heck did I even thought of signing up for another blog when I don’t even have the time to update it. I’m a frequent multiplier and because I prefer uploading pictures than writing hence, the reason why this blog page is stagnant and dead. Somehow, I still think this blog is rather useful because not many are aware of its existence and I’d get to write what I want and no one will know. Not my families, my best friends or even my boyfriend. It gives me the pleasure to rant whatever it is that is bugging me. But of course not all of my entries will be filled with angst… Let me start off with how delighted I was when the boyfie called to say he passed his TP. Like seriously, after 2 failures?? Phew! That was a total relief after all the money spent on all the necessary things needed for the TP. So I told him I simply couldn’t afford to get him a car as a gift for passing the test but renting a car is still quite possible. During the weekend, we rented a car from his friend (who apparently is my colleague’s friend’s bro-in-law, geddit?). It was this white Kia Cerato hatchback which could nicely fit 5 people in. We traveled all around the island throughout the weekends with my siblings as the passengers. The whole car ride was thrilling. We missed exits at the expressway. We took the longer route to certain places. We played pool and we bowled and then just before we head home, we made a stop at the e-hub for late supper. It was hectic but it was all good. We had a great time. Then poor boyfie had to wake up a bit early on a Sunday to fetch my mom to her friend’s place in Fernvale and we did a little grocery shopping at Tampines’ Giant Hypermarket with his mom, granny and lil bro.  It was a crazy weekend. It was all about driving almost everywhere. The price to pay for the fuel was heart wrenching but it was all worth the money.  

it's getting hOt in here!!
Mood:  irritated

AARRGHH!!!

i'm beginning to hate my job. sometimes it's the workload that i'm stressed of. other times prolly most of the time, it's the people i'm working with. these people they either have their own mood to entertain to or they've got nothing better to do than finding fault with the others.

such as one colleague. she's got this temperamental attitude which is so unpredictable. she can be chirpy and merrily talking to the others and the next, she get so uptight or pissed off for some matters and start slamming the phone and the room smells full of her frustrations. how selfish is that?!?! i'm not saying no one can be angry at anything but if you're suddenly exploding like some atomic bomb and get everyone affected, i don't think that's nice. and it also came to my attention that favouritism is very strongly displayed in the company. just because she works there longer than i am, whatever i do is never favoured by the lady boss. it irks me the most when the person i'm working closely with is never cooperating with me. and i'll always be at the receiving end of the blame. fuck! if that's how the game's played then by all means, it's time i join in the fun too. if you wanna be selfish and think that you're some big shot in the company just because you've worked the longest there compared to us, the newbies, we can also show what we are capable of doing to bring you down.

maybe its just me being sensitive cos it might just be nothing. maybe its just some office politic going on. but whatever it is, i just can't stand people with such bad etiquette when answering phonecalls and slamming the phone down. what harm did the other party did to you to get so bloody wrked up like that?!?!

i don't deny that there are hypocrites here in the office and i AM befriending these people. maybe that's how you should do in order to survive. be nice when they're nice to you. when they starts all the gossiping going around, just listen and say nothing. that will definitely place you in a safer position.

i don't know how much longer i can tolerate all these nonsensical behaviours of these people here. but what i'm very sure of doing now is to work on my resume and start sending them out to look for a greener pasture, a better future, a better job with a better pay and hopefully a much peaceful atmosphere. no point staying put in a place with such people and always getting mad and having to keep these angst to yourself. might as well start planning and take your leave.

or maybe... i should get even with them and then walk away. hmm...